a look into the life of a coder
personal life, code and more code

Jul
03

or otherwise force your users to use Internet Explorer to view your website, stop. Seriously, stop being a fucktard. Firefox is now sporting 19% marketshare of the browser market. IE is going out, not to mention is has more security holes than swiss cheese. Can you afford to alienate almost 20% of your visitors? If you can, then well, why are you reading this blog you rich fucker?

Again, if you are one of the internet newbs designing sites for IE only. STOP IT.

Thank you, that is all.

Jan
25

I saw several postings over the last day or two about a group called “Anonymous” and their campaign to destroy the Church of Scientology. I am not usually one to back this kind of act, but I think it needs to be done.

This group has release a comprehensive set of internal documents obtained from the CoS. Digg.com has been littered with stories about this, and their internet-based attacks over the last couple days.
Here is a statement from this group:

Dec
04

I am sure you have heard talk in the last few months about President Bush pushing for another war, this time he wanted to invade Iran. Why? Mainly because we the people were told that Iran had a active nuclear program that was being used to develop weapons - instead of just energy as they claimed. Yeah, sounds a little familiar doesn’t it. It’s close to the same lie we were told about Iraq. Even before 9/11, Bush and Cheney had plans to invade Iraq. 9/11 simply gave them what they needed to get the American people behind them. Iraq had nothing, zero, zip, zilch, nada, absolutely positively nothing to do with 9/11. But in any case, Bush and company were steadily pumping up support in plans to bomb and/or invade Iran.

But then, we get a new report that states that Iran does indeed have a nuclear program but their bomb-making plans are on hold. And it is estimated that Iran won’t have a bomb developed until the next decade. More lies we were told, and now the truth comes out. Bush is at a press conference right now, still harping on how dangerous Iran is. I certainly wouldn’t say they are 100% harmless little kittens, but they aren’t coming after us, why should we be going after them? Why can we have nukes, but nobody else can? I agree nukes are never a good thing, but I do think it’s wrong to deny a country the ability to protect itself, or retaliate to aggressive actions. I guess my reasoning for this is because I believe we shouldn’t be over there in the first place. If we left them alone, they would leave us alone. They don’t hate our freedom. Seriously, they don’t. They don’t attack Canada or Switzerland because of their freedom do they? Of course they don’t, they attack us, because for the last 70 or so years, we have been backing Israel. We have played puppeteer with many countries in the region. We milk them for all we can. We need to pull out and leave them be. If they want to blow themselves up, fine. We don’t need to do it for them. We have no business over there whatsoever, other than oil.
Links to the story from a few news sites:

Fox News
CNN
Crooks and Liars

Nov
30

If you ask your typical American if they are patriotic, they will be quick to answer “yes, of course I am”. However, what they deem as patriotic isn’t really. Most think that being patriotic means supporting or loving your country. While this is true, many blindly support our country in everything that we do. They support our president and his administration. They believe anyone who challenges the government is unpatriotic, treasonous and some might even label them terrorists.

Definr defines patriotic thusly:

patriotic (http://definr.com/patriotic)

adj : inspired by love for your country [syn: loyal] [ant: unpatriotic]

Inspired by love for your country. See that? Read it again carefully. Love for your country. Not love for your government. Not love for your president. Not love for your representatives in Congress.

Campbell Brown, a CNN news anchor recently called those running MoveOn.orgAmerican Insurgents“. Again, this is technically correct. Let’s look at the definition of “Insurgent” as defined by Definr:

insurgent (http://definr.com/insurgent)

adj : in opposition to a civil authority or government [syn: seditious,
subversive]
n 1: a person who takes part in an armed rebellion against the
constituted authority (especially in the hope of
improving conditions) [syn: insurrectionist, {freedom
fighter}, rebel]
2: a member of an irregular armed force that fights a stronger
force by sabotage and harassment [syn: guerrilla, guerilla,
irregular]

In the case of MoveOn.org, I believe the first definition to apply, however major media leans more towards the second definition, even though MoveOn.org and other political organizations are not armed forces - unless you consider the truth and news items that major media refuses to report on as “arms”.

Organizations like MoveOn.Org want change. They are grassroots organizations that are unhappy with our government and want to inform the public about what’s going on as major media and our leaders attempt to pull the wool over our eyes.

When we went to war with Iraq, we were outright lied to by the Bush administration. Remember those people who kept saying we would never find weapons of mass destruction and how against the war they were? Remember how most Americans labeled them as nuts, conspiracy theorists or un-American? Yeah, well guess what? We never found those weapons of mass destruction. Why then did we invade Iraq? Two reasons: 1. Oil, 2. Dispose of Saddam Hussein. The funny thing is, America put Hussein in power. I suppose he lost his usefulness to our government.

Why is that we impeach a president over getting a blowjob from an intern, which I agree is a horrible thing in that President Clinton was married, but still. We impeach the man over a blowjob. Yet we have President Bush and Vice President Cheney starting wars based on lies along with many other offenses. For a list of some, check here.

Back to the original topic though, we have Americans who stand firmly beside their corrupt government as they are being slowly and systematically stripped of their freedoms. I put forth the notion that anyone that supports the Patriot Act is indeed, anti-American. These grassroots organizations see the truth behind the lies, they see how the current administration is taking a shit all over our constitution. We have a new bill being passed through Congress (S-1959) which essentially gives the government the ability to name you a terrorist simply for what you say. Essentially, it strips you of your right to free speech.
It’s also kind of funny how several whistle blowers who used to work for the Bush administration are now turning up dead in “random accidents”. Cars being run off the road, old school 1930s style. Houses being burned down in the middle of the night.

As for patriotism, most Americans would consider our founding fathers to be the ultimate patriots. Let’s take a look at some quotes from these real patriots:

“I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every
form of tyranny over the mind of man.” - Thomas Jefferson

“Those who don’t read the newspapers are better off than those who do insofar as those who know nothing are better off than those whose heads are filled with half-truths and lies.” - Thomas Jefferson

“Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have …. The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases.” - Thomas Jefferson

“The policy of the American government is to leave its citizens free, neither restraining them nor aiding them in their pursuits.” - Thomas Jefferson
“Any people that would give up liberty for a little temporary safety deserves neither liberty nor safety.” - Benjamin Franklin

“God forbid we should ever be twenty years without such a rebellion.
The people cannot be all, and always, well informed. The part which is
wrong will be discontented, in proportion to the importance of the facts
they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions,
it is lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. …
And what country can preserve its liberties, if it’s rulers are not
warned from time to time, that this people preserve the spirit of
resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as
to the facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost
in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from
time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
It is its natural manure.” - Thomas Jefferson

“All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent ” - Thomas Jefferson

Ok so a little heavy on the TJ quotes, but I think he had it right. He, at least, expected the American people to be ready to overthrow our government if it became out of control or infringed on our liberties.

What do I hope to accomplish with this post? Well, since all of 2-3 people read this site - not much. But I would hope that those who do read don’t take the news they see on TV or read in the newspapers as gospel. The mass media will report what they want you to see and hear, or what the governments tells them to. Take to the internet and get your news from sources that are not tied to big corporations or the government. Read the lesser known news, check digg.com, check moveon.org, check mediamatters.org, check newsmax.com, check rawstory.com and check crooksandliars.com. Stay informed guys, the smaller independent news sites often report more accurately than the big news sites do. If you really pay attention, you will see that our current government is slowly stripping our right away, giving themselves more power and eventually - we will not be a free country anymore. So who then, are the real patriots? The ones blindly following the government, or the ones on the sidelines trying to fight for your freedoms?

Nov
26

Don’t know if I could do the same thing. Article here

Excerpt:

A Kershaw County man is sharing his story of survival. He faced a life or death decision when his hand got stuck in a piece of farm equipment, and then a fire broke out around him. What he did next might shock you, and we have to warn you that some of the details might be disturbing.

“If I was going to die here, I was going to put up a fight, and that’s basically what I did,” says Sampson Parker.

Nov
08

Saw this little blurb on the Consumerist today. It seems a Fox news station in Atlanta did a special report on some local hotels. They installed secret cameras in their rooms and every single hotel they checked failed to properly wash the glasses in the room. Instead of washing them, they just rinsed them out. Even the expensive 5 star hotels did this. Here is a little snippet:

At every single hotel, regardless of price, the glasses were simply rinsed out and left for the next guest. Some hotels used dirty bath towels to wipe the glasses. One hotel employee rinsed the glasses after cleaning the toilet—using the same gloves. Another one sprayed the glasses with blue cleaning fluid that was marked “Do not drink.” 

Talk about fucking disgusting….

Oct
17

Ahh, more good news from the “religion of peace”. It seems a Swedish artist has gone and fucked up. He drew the prophet Muhammad as a dog. Now Al Qaeda has issued a bounty on this man’s head. $100,000 to off him, $50,000 more if you slit his throat. Even better, there is a Muslim woman who lives about an hour-and-a-half away from the artist who vows to follow through.

edit: I had a nice little tirade here against Islam, and after thinking about - it was really a little over the top and quite frankly - a little hateful. I have decided to remove this rant as it really served no purpose other than to piss people off.

Oct
17

So I received one of those “please send this email to everyone under the sun” emails today. Nothing wrong with that, I understand people pass along these things. However, after reading it, I actually felt a little sick - namely because it seems to be authored by a Christian, with an agenda in mind. The email contains some quotes from a government official in Australia concerning the state of their country with respect to religion and muslims and such. Some of it I can agree with, and some I strongly disagree with. So first, we have the email as I received it:

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

A day after a group of mainstream Muslim leaders pledged loya lty to Australia and her Queen at a special meeting with Prime Minister John Howard, he and his Ministers made it clear that extremists would face a crackdown. Treasurer Peter Costello, seen as heir apparent to Howard, hinted that some radical clerics could be asked to leave the country if they did not accept that Australia was a secular state, and its laws were made by parliament. “If those are not your values, if you want a country which has Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is not for you”, he said on National Television.

“I’d be saying to clerics who are teaching that there are two laws governing people in Australia : one the Australian law and another Islamic law that is false. If you can’t agree with parliamentary law, independent courts, democracy, and would prefer Sharia law and have the opportunity to go to another country, which practices it, perhaps, then, that’s a better option”, Costello said.

Asked whether he meant radical clerics would be forced to leave, he said those with dual citizenship could possibly be asked to move to the other country. Education Minister Brendan Nelson later told reporters that Muslims who did not want to accept local values should “clear off. Basically people who don’t want to be Australians, and who don’t want, to live by Australian values and understand them, well then, they can basically clear off”, he said.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation’s mosques.

Quote: “IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.”

“However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the ‘politically correct’ crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia ” “However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.” “This idea of Australia being a multi-cultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. And as Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.”

“This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom”

“We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society .. Learn the language!”

“Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.”

“We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.”

“If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don’t like “A Fair Go”, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don’t care how you did things where you came from. By all means, keep your culture, but do not force it on others.

“This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and O UR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,
‘THE RIGHT TO LEAVE’.”
“If you aren’t happy here then LEAVE. We didn’t force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.”

May be if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths !

If you agree please SEND THIS TO EVERYBODY YOU KNOW!

First off, the email tells you to cross check this on snopes, however the emails contains much extra content that is not present on the snopes site. So it’s hard to tell if that information is accurate, or inserted to fulfill some Christian nut’s agenda. That said, let me just gloss over a few things:
If Christianity was ever forced down my throat, I would leave. This country (The U.S.) was *not* founded on Christianity, and should remain as it is - freedom of choice to practice what you will. Yes, some of our fore-fathers were Christian, or had some Christian beliefs, but it was never intended that Christianity be forced on the people. For those of you who know less than nothing about the framers of our constitution and founders of our country, please see here here and here

Now, I do agree that things should stay how they are. Secular - not tying the US to any form of religion. Many republicans want this to be a Christian only nation. I would not tolerate such a disrespect to the constitution and the removal of freedoms from our citizens… Wait what? Yeah, that’s right. For those of you who still have the wool over your eyes - religion serves one purpose, and one purpose only. Control. Though you could argue that it also makes you feel good inside. Look back through history and you will see that those lucky few who controlled the religion, controlled the people. This was especially true for those countries that had a “state religion”. The dark ages and that whole Spanish Inquisition thing comes to mind especially.

Certainly, many religions *preach* peace, and provide well founded morals for the people to live by. Christianity is full of lessons and parables on how to live your life in a peaceful way, helping others and making society better. The problem is man itself. By nature, we are an evil people. Evil might be the wrong word, but we have the survival of the fittest mentality that permeates every aspect of the animal kingdom. We want to better ourselves, usually at the expense of someone or something else.

Now I am all for prayer in school. However, not in the form most conservatives (read: republicans) want it. They want to turn our schools into sunday school. They want *Christian* prayer only. They do *not* want to allow Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Native Americans, Africans or any other people to pray to the god they want. They want teachers to lead the classes in *Christian* prayer. Sorry, fuck you bitches. We have the first amendment for a reason - but the republicans continue to piss all over our constitution. They hold it in high regard when it comes to the second amendment, but the first - not so much. So we should have a prayer time, sure. But it should be the “silent moment” that we used to have when I was in school. That allows everyone to pray or whatever in the way they want, to whom they want.
So now that I have gone on a little religious tirade, I can say some brief words about the rest of the email and how the author wants it to apply to the United States. I do firmly believe we should have a national language. I am all for State’s rights, but as a country we need one official language. If we let the states set their own language, we become a fragmented country. I believe English should be that official language. Not because it’s really the only language I know, but it’s the only language the vast majority of country knows. Certainly we should accommodate those who speak other languages, but those that come here should realize we speak English here. Also, people need to realize that as we don’t force religion on people, supposedly, that other religions should not seek to become the one true religion. If we ever did have a national religion, it would almost certainly be Christianity - however I have already written about this.

So yes, we are a multi-cultural nation. We should respect that and realize that this country was founded on immigration (and the theft of land, resources and life of Native Americans - and the slavery of African and Asian peoples). People should be free to speak their native tongue and keep their native culture alive. But they should also respect the *American* way of life and culture as well.

Oct
12

Why are people so damn stupid? Seems a 2 year old’s parents let him hit a blunt… Story here

Oct
11

Most who pay even a little attention to politics know that Rudy Giuliani isn’t the 9/11 hero he tries to make himself out to be. However, a very large majority of this country don’t give two shits about politics, they could care less who runs this country, what our leaders do and are currently doing to turn the USA into a police state and how they piss on our Constitution every single day they are in office. But maybe, just maybe - thanks to Yankee Fans (yes, I said it), the rest of country might know that Rudy isn’t what he tries to portray himself as.

If Rudy were a “9/11 Hero”, don’t you think the people who would love him the most would be New Yorkers? Those hit the hardest by the terrorist acts of 9/11? Well, it seems New Yorkers let us know what they really think of this slimeball

Nice little quote from the article:

“The people of New York City booed Rudy Giuliani because they know what a scumbag he truly is.  Giuliani couldn’t get elected dogcatcher in New York City today unless the only other candidate running was named Michael Vick.”

People, if Rudy is elected he will be just as bad, if not worse than Bush has been. Please, read up on your candidates and make an informed decision when you go to vote. If all you do is vote the party line regardless of who is running - then FUCK YOU. You are a piece of shit, and you are helping to ruin our country. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY COUNTRY. kthx

Oct
02

This is just sick. In the nation of Burma (officially The Union of Myanmar), peaceful protests in the favor of democracy have been met with Hitler-esque retribution by the Burmese government. Official reports state only 10 or so dead protesters. Reports from protesters and media number the dead in the thousands - many of the bodies being dumped in the jungle and swamps. Of course, since there isn’t a large stockpile of oil, or no economic benefit to the Bush administration or the UN, we do nothing. If there is a country that needs to be “liberated”, I think Burma would qualify more so than Iraq or Iran or even Cuba. I will give a little credit though, Bush has stated we will impose sanctions on the country. I think we need more than just sanctions here, bud. Some links for you to chew on with more details on the situation: here here and here
dead Burmese monk dumped in swamp
One of many murdered protesting monks dumped in swamps and jungles in Burma.

Sep
28

I don’t think there is a single person in this country, aside from politicians, who will dispute the idea that all politicians are liars. But corrupt? Surely there aren’t many corrupt politicians right? How about politicians with double standards when it comes to voter fraud?

The little clip below, courtesy of Youtube, shows several legislators in Texas committing voting fraud by voting for people *not even present*. It shows some legislators voting 4 times! What’s worse is one of these people introduced a bill to require a valid picture ID to vote to prevent voting fraud - but the same bitch has no qualms about it when it comes to her. Maybe this is common practice - I don’t know. I only have this one video to draw conclusions from. So indeed, everything *is* bigger in Texas - even the corrupted political whores.

You can view the video here

Sep
20

As you might or might not be aware, our glorious administration revoked the privilege of Habeas Corpus for military detainees. What is Habeas Corpus? Well dictionary.com’s definition says

a writ requiring a person to be brought before a judge or court, esp. for investigation of a restraint of the person’s liberty, used as a protection against illegal imprisonment.

According to new laws passed by our congress and our administration, a military detainee can also be *any* US Citizen who the administration labels a terrorist threat. Thanks to the shit laws we have on the books now that were enacted this term, the administration has no checks and balances in this regard. They can label *anyone* a terrorist and not have to provide any sort of proof or evidence to the fact. Speak against the government’s policies - like their ability to wiretap whoever the fuck they want now, without a warrant? Yeah, fuck you, you’re a terrorist. We can lock you up indefintely and don’t have to tell anyone. You have no rights anymore.

The senate just voted on a bill to restore Habeas Corpus. It didn’t pass. Good job you fucking retarded piece of shit Republicans. I will *not* be voting republican in the next senate election, out of principle. Republicans are single handedly running this country into the ground. Welcome to 30’s era Germany people. Now I get to live in fear of our government, that anything I say negative about them will have the CIA coming to pick me up. Well you know what. FUCK YOU. I say it’s time we take this mother fucking shit back. We still have our right to keep and bear arms - I think it’s time we storm the fucking white house and let them know this shit ain’t gunna fly.

Sep
18

Ok so I haven’t been exactly talking about much other than romance here. I am working on that, I have some ideas for code-related posts soon. But right now, I am going to bore you some more with luvy-duvy stuff :p

So Kim and I are still together, and things are still looking very positive. We haven’t had an argument or fight or anything yet. I think the closest we have had was she said a car was one make/model, I said it was something else then said I could be wrong. Then a week or two later, I saw the badging on it, then told her I was going to be an asshole and tell her I was right. lol. Seriously, I think that’s about the extent of our “disagreements”. I really did feel like an asshole for even bringing it up again, but I guess that’s part of my father showing in me. So yeah, things have been going great. We spend entirely too much time together - but I really like it and think it’s a good thing. I just know most women would be like “jesus, get the fuck away from me already!” - but she doesn’t. I like that. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was always pushing me away. So it’s a bit different for me, being with someone who actually wants me around a lot. I know I love being around her and want to see her every day.

So this week is going to be a little hard, because today and tomorrow we won’t get to see each other at all. I have poker tonight, then a meeting about a game I am developing with some people from the office here (oooo it’s supa secret, I can’t tell you anything yet). I can say that my boss (who is also working on said game) has some big contacts in the gaming industry. Like.. Sid Meier and Richard Garriot. yeah. Fucking legends. lol, so we will see what happens. I can say it’s going to be a small game released initially over XBox Live Arcade. Hopefully that will be successful and bankroll our next project - which is probably going to be some kind of MMO or NWN-type clone.

Wow yeah, so there’s a tangent for ya. Back to the love of my life. Yes, I said that. Yes I know it’s only been two months or so since we started dating. But still, I have never felt like this about anyone before. Not even my ex-wife - when things were good. Kim is such an amazing woman. I don’t think she really realizes it, but she is. Kim, if you’re reading this, I love you.

So this past weekend we went to the 11th Lunatic Luau. For those not in this area, it’s basically a music festival put on by one of our local rock stations. We got there late, but did get to see Tesla, Buckcherry, Papa Roach and Hinder. Hinder headlined, and Papa Roach blew them out of the water. Kim said the same thing, and so has everyone else I have talked to that went. I was actually pretty impressed with PR’s show. Tesla sounded good and Buckcherry was so-so - not bad, but not really great either.

This weekend we have King’s Dominion (Amusement park) on Saturday and then we are going up to Dover, DE for a NASCAR race on Sunday. it will be my first race, and really my very first pro sports event. All thanks to Kim. Another pair of tickets she has won recently. Luckies girl alive when it comes to winning shit from radio stations lol. *and she’s all mine* :D

Hmm, so I guess that’s about it for now. Maybe next time I post, I will have something to write about programming ;)

Sep
05

This post is about sex. Specifically, about the female orgasm. Now, you might be wondering what the fuck I am doing talking about a female orgasm. Heh - well before I start, I want to toss up this disclaimer: this post has nothing to do with my personal sex life. It may relay generalized experiences, but I am not going into details about what I do with my girlfriend - past or present - in the bedroom. Quite frankly, that’s none of your business ;)

So right, why am I blogging about this mythological notion? Female orgasm? HAH they don’t exist. At least, that’s what most guys will say. Well what brought this on was a little article I read right here which claims faking it is ok! Well, every once in a while anyhow.

I do want to say that I see where the author of said article is coming from. Not all men take kindly to “sweetie, it’s just not going to happen tonight”. Though, it could have something to do with how some women relay that thought - usually something like “fuck, are you done yet?!”. If I was told that, I think I would instantly lose my erection and probably be in a pretty shitty mood. Maybe I’m weird, but for me, sex is something you share with someone you care about and the act of making love, having sex, fucking or whatever-you-want-to-call-it is a very intimate thing and not just a daily (or weekly - you poor poor souls) chore.

So, this here chick thinks it’s ok to fake it once in a while - to avoid confrontations and hurt emotions. Sorry ladies, this couldn’t be more wrong. Now remember, I am speaking from my personal PoV. Like I said, this couldn’t be more wrong. I can’t always tell when the person I am with is faking, but there are certain things that happen to a woman’s body when she has a true orgasm. They don’t always fire off together and sometimes there might only be one or two - I am assuming it depends on the type of orgasm (clitoral or vaginal) and the intensity of said orgasm - and probably on whether she is having multiple back to back orgasms. So with that said, not only do guys (who know about these things) know what to look for - they also know what to look for when you are faking it. Some of us do anyhow. I won’t mention these here because this isn’t a post for the guys. This is a post for the ladies - Julie, you might be the only one reading this. Kim might be too. So maybe two. Anyhow! lol

If it’s not working for you and your body isn’t going to convulse in the most heavenly pleasure that could be imagined - DO. NOT. FAKE. IT. Seriously, i get more pissed if I know you are faking than if you just tell me straight up “feels good babe, but I just can’t reach that point”. I know that it could be me, or it could be you. Maybe you had a horrible day at work and you just can’t relax. Maybe your fucking stomach hurts and the pain won’t go away enough for you to enjoy your lover. Whatever the case may be, don’t fucking lie about it. Now here’s the kicker - if you *do* lie about it, and start splurting out the “omg omg omg fuck me harder yes yes yes right there don’t stop OMG I’M FUCKING CUMMING IF YOU STOP I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!” then guess what - you just positively reinforced your lover to do something that was not actually getting you off. Next time, he’s going to try and do the same damn thing, and you are going to end up having to fake again. It’s a silly never-ending cycle and eventually, you aren’t going to be cumming at all.

So let me break this down for you from a guys point of view. At least, a guy who gives a shit about how his partner feels and wants them to get off:

When your man is doing something right, when he hits that spot that makes your cheeks flush and you moan for real and your nether regions quiver, let him know. I don’t care if it’s right there in bed, on the couch, the backseat of the car, bent over the front porch or lieing down together later that day. Fucking let him know. Tell him what he did that made you feel so good. If you think he could do something that would make it feel even better, tell him. Most guys, when approached about this shit in a non-threating, non-disappointing way are eager as fuck to talk about this. I know I am. God damn, let me know. If you know of a way that I can make you wake the neighbors because you are cumming so hard, tell me please!
Now, if he’s doing something wrong, when he’s just thrusting around and your off thinking about your hair appointment three weeks from now because your spot is in italy and this mother fucker is on mars… hey, why don’t you tell him. Or at least try to guide him. As much shit as we talk about tits and ass and pussy ladies, the truth is, your body is a goddamn mystery to us. We *rely* on feedback from you. G-Spot? yeah, most guys know where it is *supposed* to be, but uhh, that thing is not easy to find. Especially if your ass is moaning and oh-yessing when the shit doesn’t even feel good.

You should really have a sit-down conversation with your man at some point about gets you both going. Tell him what he does that sets you off, what kind thrusts feel the best, do you like movement? Like it rough or gentle? Sucked or bitten on? Anal? Hair pulled? Ass smacked? Choked? Does he do it too hard, not hard enough, just right? Then ask him the same. Does he like your blowjobs? Does he like when you are on top, or when you take control. Does he like it when you raking your nails down his back or biting his chest? I think you get the picture. Sex is a part of a healthy relationship. Rather, *good* sex is part of a healthy relationship. If your man isn’t doing it for you, you need to teach (or re-teach) him. Every woman is different, and what worked on his last partner (or what he thought did) might not work on you.

Now with that said, if you are a faker - it makes your real orgasms lose their effect on how your man feels after sex. When you just had a killer orgasm and your man knows that it was a real one, not only does his ego swell a little bit - he becomes happy for you, that you got off just like he did. I mean, let’s face it, unless you are absolutely horrible in bed or your man has issues, he’s going to cum. One way or another, it’s going to happen. And ladies, we know that. Yes, we do get disappointed when you don’t cum also - but it’s a much better feeling to know that it’s not going to happen and that you could be truthful about it instead of you putting on a oscar-worthy performance, and him know you were faking. I have had several times where I knew who I was with was faking - or at least had a pretty good feeling about. Hey, most women do it. Some more than others.

I suppose what I am trying to get across here is, if you fake it, your sex life will be worse off because of it. If instead, you are honest and let your man know what works and what doesn’t work, or that you aren’t getting to that point because of all the bullshit you dealt with today - then not only will he know what pleases you, and what does nothing or very little for you - he will respect you more for being honest about it. I mean, sex for a woman, even if you don’t cum, is still pleasurable right? That alone makes us feel good too. Yes it makes us feel good when we know we got you off, but most of us realize that even those times where it’s just not going to happen for you, you still got some pleasure out of it. Sure, it’s a little shot to the ego on those times we don’t get you to that point. Most of us want you to feel the same pleasure we do - better pleasure, even. We want you to forget about all your troubles for the day and just enjoy the overwhelming pleasure. But we realize, for whatever reason, it just doesn’t happen sometimes. The same way you don’t win every single game you play. Yes, us men are very competitive and we play to win - but we also realize you can’t win ‘em all. Is it a disappointment when you don’t reach that peak? Of course. Are we mad at you or ourselves because it didn’t happen? Not usually, unless you are a bitch about it. Don’t get me wrong, I want my woman to cum 5, 6, 10 times but I know damn well that probably isn’t going to happen. But if/when it does, it’s not a “haha! hell yeah, I made that chick cum x number of times. I’m the fucking man!” it’s more “hell yeah, I made her feel so fucking awesome - I hope I can do that for her again”. I guess it depends on who you are with and if you love them or not. But regardless, I say to the poster of the article that inspired this post - you’re wrong hun, you’re dead wrong. It is *never* ok to fake it.

Aug
29

Well it’s more of a song. That doesn’t rhyme in any way, shape or form. I was in a quirky mood and that’s what came out. I suppose it sort of tells a story, while also embodying reservations and fears. Anyhow, you can find it here: Sometimes I Wonder

Aug
27

So I am updating this a little more regularly now. Not often, but more than I was right? That should be something.. no? Ahh well screw you too.

So not a whole lot has changed since the last post. Had a little vacation in early August right after my birthday. Kim and I went down to Kitty Hawk and we had a blast. We didn’t go out a lot, but hit the beach, got some food, drove around and just enjoyed each other’s company. I got burnt, as usual.

Life has been pretty good though. Job is still going great, and this here relationship with Kim couldn’t be better. She says I complete her - and I am feeling like she does me as well. Yeah yeah, we haven’t been together for a very long time I know, but still - we get along great. In fact, we uttered that three word phrase to each other a few weeks ago. Too soon? Maybe if you are outside looking in. I used to always think “love” took time. But this time it didn’t just creep up on me and hit me, it fucking ran my ass over. I think Kim is about the most perfect woman I could ever hope to be with. She is caring and compassionate, and she makes me feel wanted and loved. She can take care of herself, so I don’t have to worry about supporting her - not that I would mind, but the fact of the matter is - women who can’t take care of themselves really aren’t worth being with. I went through that once already with Joan, and I will not ever do that shit again.

So yeah, as I was saying - Kim is absolutely wonderful. I have never been this happy with someone before. I have never been with someone who truly wanted me around and truly missed me when I was away. I still can’t believe she isn’t sick of me yet. Still a little flabbergasted by her because she almost seems like an angel or that dream that you just know in your heart will never be. But here she is. My dream. I’m not really a religious person anymore, but I really feel blessed to have her in my life.

Ok enough with the mushy right? But really, there’s not much else going on in my life right now. Umm, I went and forked over the money for a xbox 360 finally and picked up Bioshock. Was planning to play a little tonight, but I got sidetracked by laundry and dinner - and it’s getting close to the time I need to go see my baby. Ordered a laptop from Dell - yeah I know… fucking Dell - but it was a good deal, and it had gotten decent reviews. So I am hoping I can get my ass into gear and get some coding done for my business, and maybe fit a raid or two of WoW in. Since I spend almost every night with Kim, I don’t get a chance to do much. I’m not complaining, but there are some things I want to do. But I also want to be next to the love of my life every single night that I can be. So I figure I can be next to her and still get a few things done. Moderation is key though. I certainly don’t want to sit there every night on the laptop. I gotta give her some attention too =)

We are going back down to the outer banks this weekend, and we are taking her 4 year old daughter with us. We went alone last time, which was heaven. This time, even with a 4 year old, I think will be absolutely wonderful. I need to get used to being around her daughter more anyhow, cause I ain’t letting this one go. So hopefully we can plan a few things out and hopefully her daughter will have a really fun time. I think she will.

Until next time my loyal readers … pshaw. ok, what I meant to say was - until next time you two people who happen to find my site through google while searching for something totally unrelated!

Jul
24

So I added a few poems. I think I lost all my old ones, so meh. Anyhow, there’s a little poetry tab up above, got two up there now. Maybe more to come as the inspiration hits. Enjoy. or not :p

Jul
18

Why you ask? Well, I think I have found someone. Someone very special. Someone who maybe I was meant to be with. Sure, we haven’t been together very long - but have you ever met someone and just know right from the start that you are beginning something amazing? I have never felt that before, until now. I can’t really describe it better than that. I am very excited about the future - our future together.
The person I am talking about is Kim, and we have only been “officially” dating for a few weeks now, but we have been spending a lot of time together for about a month and a half and I just feel so comfortable around her. Never mind the way she makes me feel when I kiss her or hold her in my arms. Even just sitting next to her on the couch, I feel “home”, if that makes sense.
I will never understand why the guys she dated before me didn’t fight tooth and nail for her. But I am glad they didn’t. I can’t help but smile and think to myself “you are the luckiest sunovabitch in the world right now”.

So yeah, I’m pretty damn happy right now. Plus, my new job is going great. I can’t complain one bit.

Jul
04

Happy fourth everyone. All two of you who read this.
Started my new job yesterday. It was slow and boring, but that’s to be expected on your first day I guess. Things should pick up tomorrow and next week.

Still seeing the woman I mentioned before. Things are going pretty good so far. Still taking it slow, but we did finally kiss. Had been waiting on that for a while, but I am a little chicken shit sometimes lol. I am starting to have feelings for her, which sucks. I shouldn’t say sucks, because that’s so far from the truth. But sucks not because I don’t want to go there, but I am scared to go there again. I keep waiting for the “yeah ok, this isn’t working out” or “you’re a nice guy and all, but I found this other more exciting hotter guy” message/phone call. It hasn’t come yet, which is a relief. She is definitely different, and is basically everything I have been looking for these last several years. And it’s not fair to her for me to have these pessimistic feelings just because of my past. She has been through her share of bad times too, so she probably feels the same way - but still.

That said, I am happy. I just have this voice in the back of my head telling me to be careful and not to let me fall too fast. It’s hard though, it really is. I feel so good when I am around her - she makes me feel wanted and I hope I make her feel the same. Giving her some space is hard, but I know I have to do it. It’s not exactly space she requested, but I don’t want to do be that guy that never leaves. She has to have time to get her stuff done, and just to have a break here and there. Even so, I can’t stop thinking about her and I want to see her every day. Just gotta restrain and take it slow!
Anyhow, things are going good and I am really excited to see where it goes. Just trying to take it slow cause I really don’t want to get burned again.